Editing Process
by TL-chan
Summary: If being a genius scientist wasn't enough, Karigari decides to add children's book author to his impressive resume.


**AN:** Why did I actually write this when it started out as a joke? Because I couldn't get the idea out of my head, and actually found it kind of adorable when I thought too much of it. This is crack fic, if you can't tell.

Set post-movie. Karigari and Sasagawa are already in an established relationship.

* * *

_'The fire blazed, wreaking havoc as it tore through the strip mall, where countless people had been inside shopping._

_"The foolish Mobile Rescue Police still believe all these mass blazes have been accidents, not the work of a deadly pyromaniac."_

_The Number One Genius Scientist in the World Dr. Karigari knew the truth, of course. And he knew he was the only one who could save the world._

_The pathetic metal scrap heaps they called "Drive Heads", clearly named by someone without taste, had rushed into the building as usual. But they were disintegrated by the flames within minutes._

_The Chief Engineer In-Name-Only Kurumada was stunned that his life's work was all for nothing. His just as idiotic boss, Commander Saionji, felt that the Mobile Rescue Police had shamed themselves so badly, they might as well shut down. A sentiment which intelligent people had been trying to express to them for years._

_Still, Bayfront City and perhaps the world was in danger thanks to that annoying pyromaniac who needed to get a life. Fortunately, The Ever-Reliable Genius Scientist Dr. Karigari was on the case._

_Making use of his genius mind, the greatest weapon one could ever possess, he generated a controlled rain storm over the strip mall, or what remained of it, putting out the flames. But there was still much left in ruin. That simply wouldn't do. That's when the Number One Genius Scientist in the Universe Dr. Karigari unveiled his controlled time-corrector device. It didn't simply reset the entire earth back in time, as that could cause a complicated mess. Rather, it restored certain designated spaces. Karigari then stepped in and restored the strip mall, and all the merchandise which must have been lost. There was a fine supermarket there, which carried very quality steak. It would be such a waste for that to all have been lost due to one sick man's hobby. In all of Dr. Karigari's great generosity, he even restored the ashes that were once Drive Heads. As for the pyromaniac's fate, because The Amazing-Beyond-Reason Genius Scientist Dr. Karigari found his location immediately upon trying, the police arrested him and he spent the rest of his pathetic life behind bars._

_In the aftermath, the Mobile Rescue Police higher-ups all groveled at the feet of the Genius Scientist Who Saved the City Once Again, Dr. Karigari. That foolish Kurumada took responsibility for leaving the lives of the city's citizens at risk by entrusting their safety to those puny Drive Heads. As a result, he checked himself into the prison and became the pyromaniac's cellmate. Dr. Karigari himself became the new Chief Engineer, but having no desire to work with those morons like Commander Saionji and Chief Gozu, he fired them all and ran the entire organization himself, using new machines with his system which were unquestionably superior to the Drive Heads. The city was never in danger again. Everyone was happy, except for the Mobile Rescue Police, and no one was really concerned about them. Dr. Karigari celebrated his long-awaited victory with a fine steak dinner._

_The end.'_

Karigari smiled contently at the document which was open on his laptop's word processor.

"Not bad for a first draft. It may need a little tweaking. Perhaps I should emphasize a bit more my superiority over Kurumada. But I'll save this for now."

"What are you doing in there?"

Karigari jumped up in his chair. He quickly minimized the screen just as Sasagawa walked into the room. Still, it wasn't as if he was ashamed by what he was doing. Being on guard was just a reflex to him, as a wanted criminal.

"Writing a children's book," he replied. He spun his chair around to face her, clasping his hands together.

"A children's book?" she echoed, giving him a puzzled look. Not that she wasn't used to Karigari doing odd things, but this was especially odd.

"Having read quite a few of them recently, I've realized how lacking the medium is, to put it generously."

"Hmm... I guess they're not very deep," Sasagawa said. "But, they're for kids."

"And kids can't appreciate a proper story?" Karigari asked.

"Of course they can," replied Sasagawa.

"Just look at this, Miss." Karigari picked up a thin paperback from the mess on his desk.

"Dog and Cat are Friends," Sasagawa read the cover. She proceeded to open the book and began to skim through. She'd read the book before, and found it cute, but she'd never put much thought into it afterwards.

"First, I take issue with the story on a fundamental level," said Karigari. "Typically dogs and cats are not friends. They're antagonistic by nature, like Kurumada and myself."

"I guess so," Sasagawa said, as she continued turning pages.

"Second, just look at the dialogue." He glanced down at the page Sasagawa was opened to and read it aloud.

_"'Are you my friend?' Dog asked._

_'Yes. You are my friend,' said Cat."_

"It is kind of boring," Sasagawa admitted. "I think it's sweet, how a dog and cat can overcome their differences and become friends. But, the story would be a lot more interesting if Cat got stuck in a tree, and then Cyclone Interceptor swooped down to rescue her. And found out that Dog was the driver, and they flew off together into the night!" She was smiling triumphantly by the time she reached the end of her scenario.

Karigari sighed. "That wasn't quite what I meant. Still, you have the right idea, Miss. They just need a little more substance. What disappoints me the most is a lack of highly intelligent characters who have to prove their natural superiority to everyone else. Children need good role models."

"You mean, like you," said Sasagawa.

"Exactly," Karigari replied.

"Well, show me your story!" Sasagawa replied. She certainly couldn't think of any children's books she'd seen that had a character similar to Karigari. That would make for an interesting read. "I really want to know what you came up with. It's probably really elaborate like your revenge schemes."

"You wouldn't enjoy it," Karigari replied. "Besides, I haven't polished it yet or even ran spell check."

She certainly wouldn't. Much as Karigari was proud of his writing, he was smart enough to acknowledge that much. His portrayal of Drive Head was rather unflattering, even if he did resurrect them from their fiery demise.

"Let me decide for myself!" she declared. "I definitely want to read it!"

"Well, if it pleases you, Miss." He brought back up the screen and got up from his seat. Even if he tried to keep it from her, she'd sneak in to try to read it the next time he was occupied. One way or another, she'd read it.

Sasagawa sat down and quickly began to read. She did sit long enough to read the whole thing, it seemed. But when she turned around, only the shimmer of her glasses masked the burning fury of her expression.

"This is the worst book I've ever read!"

"The worst ever?" Karigari scowled. "Well, I told you it wouldn't be your type of story, but surely it can't be any worse than 'Dog and Cat are Friends'. Or numerous pieces of so-called classic literature which also lack intelligent leads." He was more insulted than he'd expected.

"Well, I'll edit it!" Sasagawa decided. "Then the story will be much better. The basic idea was pretty good. But it didn't even have a heroine, or any romance."

"Go ahead, Miss," Karigari said. He might as well humor her. "But please copy it into a new document. I'd like to save the first draft, as a mark of progress. I saved the first weather manipulation device I built in first grade, you know, even if it's not quite up to par with my work today."

"I know," she said. "It's cool, but not as cool as my story's going to be!"

She was already on fire before she'd even sat down. Well, Karigari couldn't help but admire her passion. If it got her this excited, having her insult his story was worthwhile after all.

* * *

"It's done!" Sasagawa declared. Looking as terrifyingly proud as she was when she'd rewrote 'Dog and Cat are Friends,' Sasagawa got up from the chair, leaving her work for Karigari to read.

_'The fire blazed, wreaking havoc as it tore through the strip mall, where countless people had been inside shopping.'_

Karigari noted that the first paragraph was still the same. Unfortunately, that was the only part left untouched.

_'Among those in the building was a beautiful announcer from Akasaka TV, who was covering the horrible events._

_Then, all of a sudden, Team Drive Head appeared, led by none-other than the dazzling Cyclone Interceptor. Cyclone burst into the flame covered room, much to the delight of everyone inside. Moving faster than the speed of light, he swiftly began to rescue everyone. The people rejoiced. But, the strikingly beautiful and pure female announcer remained there, in order to witness all of it. Debris began to fall, leaving her life in terrible danger. But Cyclone Interceptor shielded her, saving her life._

_Soon, the fire was out. Not a single person was hurt, thanks to the brilliant efforts of Team Drive Head._

_"Ahhhh! Cyclone Interceptor! Thank you so much!" the announcer cheered, as she gazed up at his radiant, strong figure. His metal armor like muscles, emphasizing his strong arms._

_"All I do is to protect the people of this fine city," Cyclone Interceptor spoke in his booming, masculine voice. "But for you, I would do anything. You are the most beautiful woman in this city. Please come into the Viper and sit beside me."_

_"Of course, Cyclone Interceptor." She couldn't wait to finally meet the driver, who was sure to be as strong and handsome and manly as the frame he controlled. And then they lived happily ever after. The end.'_

"That has nothing to do with my story." Karigari glared at her. "I'm not even in it!"

"Well…" A streak of red came across Sasagawa's face. "I kinda forgot about that character."

"Forgot? But I was the main character!" Karigari sighed. "And why are you cheating on me with Cyclone Interceptor? You've likely broken Cat's heart as well."

"That wasn't me," Sasagawa said. "Just a character."

"A beautiful female announcer who works for Akasaka TV and loves Drive Head," Karigari replied. "That character is Miss any way you look at it."

"Hmm… I didn't think so," Sasagawa said. "And your character was named Dr. Karigari, but the real Dr. Karigari definitely wouldn't have let the pyromaniac cause successive incidents without trying to stop him all that time. And that's to say nothing of how inaccurately you wrote the Drive Heads!" Her voice became much louder by the end.

"It was dramatic tension," Karigari replied. "Of course, in reality I would have saved the day from the very beginning, but I had to let the situation escalate. Books where the conflict is resolved too easily are boring."

"I guess so," Sasagawa said. "But that still doesn't excuse the part at the end where the Drive Heads were replaced! I could never forgive such a thing! That's why I had to change it!"

"Miss, calm down," Karigari said. "It's only a story. Perhaps I can make some minor adjustments to it. But I'm still going to be the main character."

"Why don't we collaborate?" Sasagawa suggested.

Karigari's eyes widened in surprise.

"You know, we can write an awesome children's story as husband and wife! Your Dr. Karigari character can be in it, and help Cyclone Interceptor as he saves the day like always."

Karigari frowned, considering her proposal. It did sound rather enticing. But it was the last part which didn't satisfy him.

"Sure. However, it will be Cyclone Interceptor who helps me, as I save the universe once again."

"Well, I guess Dr. Karigari can be the main hero," said Sasagawa. "As long as he doesn't leave people in danger for dramatic tension. And as long as Cyclone Interceptor gets to be really cool, and really helpful. And as long as there's lots of romance."

"Fine," Karigari replied, grinning. "I'm sure your anonymous beautiful announcer can have a scene with Cyclone Interceptor."

"A kiss, to reward him for saving the day!" Sasagawa said. "But then, she'll kiss Dr. Karigari, who also saves her life. Because meteors are raining from the sky, threatening all of Bayfront City. But Karigari appears in his Drive Head to protect her! Of course, Cyclone Interceptor is protecting everyone too. But, the climactic kiss scene with the hero will be even better. Something like this!"

She leaned over, throwing her arms around Karigari and kissing him on the lips.

"Something dramatic," she said, as she pulled back.

"Miss…" Karigari looked flustered, but was grinning. Who needed a story at all when he could just have a moment like that in reality with his anonymous beautiful announcer wife? Well, for now, he supposed they might as well finish up working out details of the plot.

"By the way, the meteors raining from the sky actually broke off from an enormous asteroid. That asteroid is going to crash into the earth, threatening to wipe out every living thing from the planet."

"That's awful!" Sasagawa exclaimed. "How will you stop it?"

"Because The Number One Genius Scientist Children's Book Author in the World Dr. Karigari, who found out about this before the Mobile Rescue Police could realize the danger, has been working tirelessly to construct a powerful laser. This laser is attached to his Drive Head, and will fire off at the asteroid, blasting it to smithereens so tiny, they'll burn up when they reach the earth's atmosphere, leaving no one harmed."

"As expected!" Sasagawa exclaimed.

"Of course, I'll fly to the center of the city, where Cyclone Interceptor has been exerting all his energy to protect everyone, swoop in to save you, and then fire off my laser from there. Kurumada will be so frustrated that he didn't think of such a thing, he might just retire in shame right there. If not consider ritual suicide." He scratched his head. "Ritual suicide might be too intense for small children. I'll just go with retire. But regardless, the world will be saved, thanks to me once again. Oh, and Cyclone Interceptor. But the remaining Mobile Rescue Police higher-ups will all lament about why they never chose my driving system in the first place."

"Then, the beautiful anonymous announcer and Dr. Karigari will get married. It will be a huge, extravagant wedding the whole city attends! We'll have a giant cake shaped like Cyclone Interceptor."

Karigari nodded, committing it all to memory so he could write it down later.

"After that, there will be an impressive final scene where I open up my cabinet, and place next to the wedding photo my newest Nobel Prize in science. Naturally, the cabinet will be highly cluttered with the many Nobel Prizes I've won each year since my birth."

Sasagawa stared at him, confused.

"But... How could you win a Nobel Prize as a baby? If a dog and cat becoming friends is unrealistic, no one will believe that."

Karigari looked down. He had to acknowledge that she had a point, much as it pained him.

"I suppose that might be a little unreasonable, for children who can't comprehend the mind of a true genius. Fine, instead I'll just have a runner's up award from when I was a year old. The judging committee will presume that adult scientists would be embarrassed to lose to an infant, so they'll just make me a runner up as compromise. Like in real life."

"Huh?!" Sasagawa stared at him, torn as to whether she could believe him or not. It sounded cool, but... it was definitely impossible.

"I really do have that certificate," Karigari said. "Of course, I made it myself. Had the judges known me as a baby, I would have won it, so it was only natural. Alas, my reputation then wasn't what it is today."

"But, you still never win Nobel Prizes," Sasagawa said. "Which_ is_ unfair."

"But I'm a wanted criminal. That likely disqualifies me. Which hasn't stopped me from awarding myself every year, only now with the grand prize."

"Karigari, you're such a dork." Sasagawa stood on tiptoes and leaned her head on his shoulder. "But you're also really cool."

"This coming from the woman who has a Drive Head merchandise collection that my fictitious award cabinet couldn't even fit," replied Karigari. He reached up with his left hand to brush at her hair. "I should have realized from the beginning you were the ideal editor for my masterpieces, Miss."


End file.
